Bittersweet
by fegs
Summary: As much as she wanted to, she couldn't accept his love.


This is up way sooner than I thought it would be. I just got into the mood last night to write and it all came out. I hope you guys enjoy my rendition of why Steamshipping never came to be.

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"I love you." The words were like knives in her ears. She had been hoping to the Wise One that he would never, ever say those three words to her. The loud noises of the festival silenced around her, and she desperately wished time would go backwards and she had never come today. Garet had pulled her aside just minutes ago and went into this long, deep speech about his feelings - something he had never done - and ended with those words. She suddenly realized she had been standing there with her mouth hanging open. She needed something to say.

"Garet, listen I-" she trailed off, unsure of how to reply. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to put it into words. She diverted her gaze and her eyes landed on Isaac and Jenna. Jenna pushed Isaac away from her playfully, a look of pure joy on her face. Isaac was laughing, not chancing to take his eyes from Jenna. He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Look at Isaac and Jenna." Mia felt the words come out involuntarily, but she knew what she was about to say would help in proving her point. "Watch how they look at each other."

Garet was confused, but did as he was told. He watched them for about five seconds before looking back towards Mia. "What about it."

"That's love." Mia said quietly, and she watched as Garet looked back towards them, taking a more thorough look this time. "I'd give anything to have you look at me like that," Mia said.

"But I just told you that I love you," Garet told her, clearly still firm on his words.

Mia shrugged her shoulders and offered him one of her sweet smiles. "Sometimes we say things we don't mean."

Garet raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "What are you goin' on about?"

"Listen." Mia started. It was so hard for her to continue with this conversation. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Garet. "For me to stay here with you would be for my own selfish reasons. I'd be keeping you from finding someone you _really _could love." The butterflies in her stomach remained unsettled, and although she didn't want to say what she was about to, she knew she had to. "Which is why I'm going home to Imil tomorrow."

"You're what?" The look on Garet's face was almost unbearable to look at. Mia had now done what she had never intended to do. He was hurting. "Your own reasons…what are you-"

"I love you, Garet." She began. To get those words out of her system was a relief, but at the same time she now felt a new burden fall onto her shoulders. "And even though you might think it, that feeling is not mutual."

"I'm so confused, Mia," Garet was shaking his head. His eyes were telling her to stop talking. "I think I know how I feel."

"You…you're confusing love with admiration or strongly…enjoying my company. You don't love me."

"And how would you know how I feel? Maybe…maybe you're just scared!" His voice had grown louder, and if she didn't know any better, she would have sworn he was about to cry.

For Garet to tell her she was scared surprised Mia. Whether he knew what he was saying or not, he had definitely said the truth. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am," she started. She felt the tears coming, and knew that it was time for her to go. She swallowed a lump that had been sitting in her throat, and turned slowly away from him. About five steps later she stopped and turned back. "You asked how I would know what you're feeling? Well…its because I've been in this same situation before. I love a guy and he doesn't love me back."

It was as if a wave of understanding washed over Garet. "Alex." He didn't have to guess. He already knew the answer.

Mia smiled at him one last time and nodded her head. She began, then, to walk away. Behind her she heard Garet calling her back, and as badly as she wanted to stop, she didn't. She knew what he would have said anyways. He would have told her he's not like Alex. He would never hurt her, and she knew that was the truth. Garet was so much more decent and kind-hearted than Alex, yet she still wasn't ready to take chances on anybody. Alex hurt her in ways that she never wanted to be hurt again. That's why she had tried so hard to convince Garet what he was feeling for her was wrong. She smiled, knowing that she had successfully convinced a part of him that he was just confused. She saw the way Isaac looked at Jenna, and Garet looked at herself in the exact same way. The feelings that she felt for Garet were mutual and she knew that. Just as long as Garet didn't, she felt she was safe.

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It's definitely very short compared to some of my other stuff. Anyhow, I hope it was a good read.


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